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Hey there!
Yay, you made it! Welcome to the 9th edition of Tarabytes. How have you been this past month? I’ve been feeling positive about new projects and that always makes me start getting creative! This month I let the creative juices flow and designed some cards as a gift for my brother-in-law. He LOVED THEM!
This was also a great month for Zagg as he has met his new puppy BFF! I mentioned my friend’s corgi puppy, Apollo, a few editions back, but he got big enough to have a play date with Zagg this month. It was puppy love at first sight! Both pups are still working on their manners with other dogs so they are practicing on each other and loving it. And Craig & I and Apollo’s parents are loving watching them too!
I also started a new hobby this month that I’ve been wanting to try for a few years now…raising butterflies! My back porch legit looks like a jungle right now. Below is a collage of a few of my favorite images from the experience so far, but I’ve been sharing about it non-stop on my insta story, so follow me on Instagram @TarableDesigns to keep up with my adventures in butterfly momming.
Now, on with the rest of the e-zine! Last month I talked about how it’s inherent to the concept of privilege that it be hard to see and that those with the most privilege are the least likely to see that privilege (link below to read that!). I talked about how privilege is relative and that being a contributing factor to this. This month I want to talk about another reason it can be so hard for those with privilege to see that they have it.
Privilege is not just individual actions that oppress. Privilege is systemic, meaning it is built into our social systems. Social systems come in many shapes and sizes. A social system could be a family, a workplace, a society, etc. (This is another example of how privilege is relative (#8). Your privileged status changes as you move through different social systems. I likely should have covered this topic first. Oh well! Go back and read that one after this! It will make more sense now. Anyway). Social systems aren't just people, but also all kinds of different elements, ideas, values, morals, and traditions, related with one another in a way that makes us think of them as a group. If you’ve been following along with Tarabytes, you’ll notice this is another example of how our lives are connected to, and dependent on, each other. Read Tarabytes #3 after this edition to go deeper on this (link below)!
In a system of privilege, one category of people, usually, the majority group, is seen as the “standard”. Being designated the standard lends more credibility to their views than to others. The entire social group starts to see the dominant group, and their ideas, values, morals, and traditions, as the most “normal” or “human”. All others outside the “dominant” group are seen as just that, “other”. Those in the dominant group are seen as individuals while all others are grouped together by category. Those in the dominant group often have no idea of the privilege that being in that group carries, and can sometimes not recognize that they are in a “category" at all. As in the case of cisgender people (that I mentioned last month, link above) not having to “name” themselves, where transgender people do (please read edition #8 if you’re not sure what cisgender means :)). When a category of people is seen as standard, they are easily seen as superior by the entire group (why else would they be the standard, right?). Because of the perceived superiority, the dominant group takes hold of most of the available positions of power. And those who have the power make the rules. The problem lies in the fact that the rules will reflect the problems and biases of those in power, and likely not those who are considered “other”. If we think about the transgender community again, we can see the way that this manifests in bans and laws that make life harder for trans people or even make them less safe, based on a fundamental misunderstanding of their lives. Whether intentional or not, it is hard to govern with the best interests of all groups taken into account if not all groups get to have a say in the ways things are governed. The result is patterns of unearned advantage available to some simply because they are socially identified in a “dominant” group. To quote one of my favorite feminist ladies, Lisa Simpson, “The whole damn system is wrong!”
A quick example of a system of privilege within my own family is that traditionally the father/grandfather is the “head" of the family. This has manifested in lots of different ways over the years, some big, some smaller. One small way it showed up was that the men in my family were always given the driving and front seat position when we rode in the car together. As a kid, I thought little of it. We were respecting our elders. And in most cases, Dad and Granddaddy genuinely needed it for health and comfort reasons. Then, the very first time I rode in the car with my parents with my, at the time, newish husband Craig, my Mom offered the front seat to him. My "feminist-still-figuring-this-shit-out” bell went crazy! There was zero reason he needed the front seat! I know my Mom meant absolutely NOTHING by it, she was just trying to be nice to Craig. But me, being the brat that I can sometimes be, demanded that I get the front seat, just to make a point. Attitude AF.
I usually only pull that kind of stuff with my own family, but every time I do it, I feel a little braver and a little closer to calling out systems of privilege everywhere I see them. It's not lost on me that this is a ridiculously tiny example of a system of privilege, especially considering the privileged status of my family, but I think if you start becoming aware of the little ways privilege affects your life, it’s easier to see where privilege is affecting things in significant ways. But let’s be real, there’s no reason for me to be a turd about it. And I can def be a turd when I’m passionate about something. I'm practicing staying calm and trying to get my point across with love instead of anger (or extreeeeeeme attitude). That’s actually part of what this e-zine is all about. Unfortunately, I usually practice on my family. Sorry family. I love you all.
As an individual, I can’t avoid participating in established systems of privilege, but as a privileged person, I feel responsible to make changes where possible. So what can we do?
As privileged people, we can recognize where we hold privilege, and then listen to the stories, experiences, values, morals, traditions, etc. of those over whom we hold that privilege. In short, we can practice empathy (I’m starting to feel like this is the answer to everything)! Listening to the needs and wants of the oppressed should be priority number one when coming up with solutions to oppression. They would know best what they need after all! And we can strive for equity, vs equality, in those solutions. Read Tarabytes edition #4 to go deeper on the topic of my preference for equity or equality (link below).
Another way to make change is to create new systems that don’t rely on privilege where you have the opportunity. I try to keep the concept of privilege in mind within my own family and friend units. And especially in my small business, where I have ALL the control, I take steps to make sure that my business practices are in line with my values. I try to take my own privilege into account at every step. I don’t need to be sorry for it, but I do need to be aware of it and think about how it affects the decisions that I make in my business and life. This is a topic I’d actually love to dig into further at some point: How to Run a Business While Keeping your Privilege in Mind. Let me know if that’s something you’d be interested in hearing me talk about! Reply to this email to let me know.
Thanks for reading this month’s edition of Tarabytes! Your support of me and this project means the absolute world to me! If you're looking for more ways to support me, consider doing one or more of the following things:
* Reply to this email with your thoughts, ideas or questions regarding privilege or any other topic I’ve cover in this e-zine
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Thanks again, and see you next month!
Tara A.
