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Hello, Friend!
How is it March already?
February is always a weird month to me. It’s like I’m “officially” out of holiday mode, and it takes me a little while to get back to reality. Highlights from the month include: working on wedding invitations for my sister, Craig and I visiting the site of my big pink paper taco (links below), a couple lovely dinners with friends, and my husband and in-laws installing much-needed lights into my studio! Score! And I restarted going to a yoga class. I’ve only been once, but I’m already hooked again. I’ve also been doing lots of Instagramming. Well, more than usual at least. And I’m working on some plans for upping my game in that department. So if you’re not following me @TarableDesigns, you totes should be!
Last month, I talked about empathy. How it connects us to our humanity and helps us realize that everyone is doing the best they can, just like you. Empathy is a gateway to compassion. And in this edition of Tarabytes, I want to talk about just that, compassion.
Compassion is what happens when empathy meets suffering. It’s the desire to ease pain, discomfort, and injustice. Not only do we understand others, but we have the desire to end their suffering. That desire allows us to treat others how we want to be treated, making us much more effective in stressful, emotionally charged or triggering situations. Compassion moves us. It makes us care. When we care, our energy naturally moves toward the needs of those cares.
I also talked last month, about how I think empathy takes nerve (links below) because of how painful empathy can be. The world is full of pain. We are constantly faced with issues that bring on feelings of hopelessness, like poverty, climate change, mass shootings, racism, sexism, police brutality, etc, etc. etc. , not mention more personal issues, such as family illnesses, financial problems, mental health issues, and the stress of interpreting interpersonal relationships daily. Our natural tendency toward empathy can easily cause emotional burnout and overwhelm. It can often seem easier to ignore the pain or drown it out with things like work, social life, hobbies or even drugs & alcohol. I know I am guilty of this...But when we do this, the pain never truly goes away. If we can work through to the root of the pain, we can heal the problem. Compassion is part of that healing. The more we show compassion, to ourselves and to others, the more resilient we become to painful feelings, because we feel less alone. When we can practice compassion for that which we “hate”, those strong feelings soften. I’m not suggesting that we can fix all the problems of society through compassion alone, but viewing issues with compassionate eyes changes our perceptions and can make it easier create solutions.
Once you've healed your own pain, you can help support others do what you’ve done for yourself. When people feel cared for, they can pursue their own “wokeness” more confidently.Compassion is contagious. When someone is nice to us, we feel like being nice too. When others are compassionate to us, it makes us want to be compassionate to others. We know how good it feels, how much it means, how much it’s needed and we often want to pay it forward. Even people who just witness the compassionate act may be moved to act themselves.
Compassion is actually a lot like glitter...
I LOVE GLITTER. That might be obvious if you know me in person. I’m a little bit “known” for my love of glittery things. I glittered my studio floor (links below to pics of when it was first going in!) and I often get tagged on FB in glitter clothes and make-up posts because my friends know how much I love that stuff. Glitter is my power color.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much glitter. You can pretty much make anything tolerable at least, by covering it in glitter. When in doubt, I throw some glitter on that shit. Glitter makes everything better. Now replace “glitter” with “compassion”. Still works!
Even if you’re not a glitter lover (what the heck are you doing with your life?), the analogy still applies. Think about it. Glitter sticks to everything and passes easily from person to person. It catches your attention, especially when you’re not looking directly at it. It gets in the, ahem, “cracks”, and bugs you until you do something about it. And you can throw it at your enemies (links below. Totally passive-aggressive asshole move? Or delightful mail time surprise? You be the judge.)!
Since I’ve noticed this fun comparison, seeing glittery things has become way more meaningful. Every beautiful glittery thing I see has become a reminder to use compassion. And I’m starting to feel the same way about compassion that I feel about glitter…I want to COVER EVERYTHING!
“Use compassion like glitter and COVER EVERYTHING”
I really love that so many of my friends and family think of me when they see glittery things. But I’d also like them to think of me in those moments when they make the choice to be compassionate. I want to be known for spreading compassion the way I’m known for spreading glitter. It feels like a good opportunity for me to lead by example, especially since I now have so many reminders all around me ✨✨
And just like glitter, the more compassion you spread, the happier you will be! Because of the way our natural empathy connects us to the feelings of others, our happiness is linked to the happiness we create for others. You can’t avoid painful feelings altogether, but when painful feelings arise, compassion can turn that situation on its head, letting you see it from a new perspective. Whether is it for yourself or for someone who wronged you in some way, practicing compassion for small things, helps us be better equipped to practice it for big things.
I encourage you to practice sprinkling a little compassion on your next few interactions and notice the difference. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to find that compassion rubs off the same way glitter does.
So what do you think? Are you a glitter addict? Do you think glitter is the herpes of craft supplies? Or are you like Craig, who over the years has become completely oblivious to the tiny glitter bits in his beard at any given moment (ahh the risks/perks of being married to an artist!)? Are you down for spreading compassion like glitter? Reply to this email and let me know! I would so love to hear your thoughts, and they don’t all have to be glitter-related!
Thank you for reading this month’s edition of Tarabytes! If you missed any of the previous editions and want to catch up, or if you like what you've read here and want to check out my other work, you can do that at the links below.
Also, it is SUPER helpful to me if you share this email with a glitter lovin’ friend. Non-glitter lovers are welcome too, I guess
Thank you again!
Tara A.
